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Now it’s little secret that I have problems with the people who put censorship or warning labels on our movies and our music. I have vast problems with the theory of it as well as the manner in which they practice it. But in this article I want to address the fact that it’s biased towards material they choose not to agree with. Why is it they feel free to censor non-Christians? I find their bible and their disgusting little brainwashing books utterly offensive, so why don’t I have a right to put my labels on their shit? Can I move to put a shitty, preachy, brainwashing music label on every Christian CD that comes out every year? It’s simply not equality of protection under the law.
Let’s take a look at some of these organizations doing the ratings. The CARA or the Classifications and Ratings Administration started in 1968. It is sponsored by the MPAA or Motion Picture Association of America, this started from the brilliant idea from president Jack Valenti, President of the MPAA. Now it’s undeniable that these laws prevent a 16 year old from experiencing their constitutional right to liberty, as she/he is denied the same forms of entertainment as an 18-year old citizen. This movie rating system was presented as a revolutionary new tool for to help out the parents, totally disregarding the kids, and this is most obviously a case of age discrimination. The ratings are determined by a rating board in New York, that contains 8-13 CARA members. To make this scheme even better, these fucks charge the movie producers to get their movies rated. A very interesting aspect of this board is the membership requirements, which they consider normal. These people have to be part of a married couple with at least one kid. So they have to be parents, because they feel that no one else would understand the viewpoint of the parent. But this shit doesn’t affect parents, it affects kids, so where the fuck is their viewpoint represented?
Parents are the least likely people in the world to give an unbiased opinion on this issue if movies should be regulated in this manner, which they shouldn’t. They say that these people must be intelligent and mature, but by whose standards? To my experience, most people who act “mature” are just carrying out a façade to pretend to be better than they are, and lying to yourself to me is a trait of someone who is truly not well developed mentally. If a movie producer chooses not to undergo this rating system, they say on the MPAA site that they are free to do so. What they don’t tell you, is that they won’t play them at any MPAA sponsored theatres, pretty much dooming the movie to fail as the MPAA has a monopoly on theatres. Then the MPAA forces it’s theatres to ban anyone from the theatre who doesn’t fit the standards, and even has taken to carding, which is utterly disgusting. Another rule that they don’t admit on their site, but I guarantee you that it’s true, is that to be on this board, you are going to be a Christian. The morals represented are based on the churches’ personal ratings. But I wonder how well their own holy texts would hold up to their professed moral standings. The MPAA has decided on that for the purpose of rating a movie, they look at the following: theme, violence, language, nudity, sensuality, drug abuse, etc. Now here’s an overview of the rating levels that they adhere to.
Rated G: Contains no nudity, sex, adult themes. Originally this meant next to no violence as well, but this rating has been slipping a bit. There is also no drug content allowed.
Rated PG: The theme may require guidance of parent’s to understand (yeah right, because you know little kids are so stupid right.). May contain some violence or brief nudity. Again no drug use allowed.
Rated PG-13: This is the beginning section for any sort of drug use (like smoking). It can have nudity, but cannot be sexually oriented. R is the beginning of the sex line. If someone even uses a sexually derived word like fuck or hump, it’s considered in this category. Two sexual references automatically bumps it up to rated R. If the word is used to describe the act of sex, it’s automatically bumped to rated R.
Rated R: May contain hard language, tough or much violence. Nudity and sensual scenes, not even directly sexual, if they feel the focus of the scene is on the sex they often bump it up to NC-17. Also drug abuse may be depicted here as well. Any movie with too many of the previous elements may also be bumped up to NC-17 at their discretion.
Rated NC-17: The bottom of the ratings barrel. Pretty much any movie with this rating is doomed to die in the box office. And if it carries a message, no one will know because hey, the Christians think only adults should see these movies, and it’s considered uncouth by society to take a date to it, and it’s boring to go by yourself, so NC-17 movies bomb. According to the MPAA the reasons behind this rating could be violence, sex, or aberrational use of drugs. So basically I think if there is hard drugs, it sometimes falls into this category.
Now I know most people would automatically assume that the bible being the symbol of morality for so many people wouldn’t even come close to a poor rating on this scale, but then again, you have to look at where the line is drawn. Let’s take a look at some NC-17 movies:
Evil Dead: Now considered a cult classic. Earned this title. Now the reasons for this were scenes of violence, undead creatures, and sexual implications, and foul language.
Assault: Given it’s rating for rape scenes.
Bad Lieutenant: Given it’s ratings for rape, prostitution (adult theme), sex with teenage girls.
Black and White: This movie was essentially given it’s ratings for one of two reasons. Either they didn’t want kids to copycat the actions in the movie, or because it promoted to much unity, and they couldn’t deal with it being good strong Christians who still support slavery. There is a lot of crime portrayal in this movie, as well as sex and drugs. I personally don’t understand how this movie got an NC-17 rating, but we’ll include it as it proves our point.
Kids: Although not by any means a happy movie, this attempt to call out to parents across the world and say hey, this is the shit your kids face every fucking day, was covered up by the ratings commission. Everything in this movie, is about the shit that happens in real life, which is sometimes far scarier than any fictional movie, and no amount of censorship is going to stop that. The movie tries to point out the flaws in society in it’s own unique way, and I consider it a shout out to America to wake the fuck up and pay attention to your kids, stop trying to censor them, and start trying to understand them. Anyway for sex, violence, adult themes, molestation, and for fear of emulation, these great parents of America blindly avoided the point and slapped it with an NC-17 rating.
This of course is a mere slim sample of NC-17 rated movies, most are based NC-17 for severe sexual scenes, which to me is absurd as sex is considered more severe than murder in our society. Don’t you find it amazing that the act of making a life to these people is more horrid than the taking of one? If anything sex scenes act as a form of education, and help kids who are curious learn about it without actually having to go out and have sex to find out what it’s all about. So this is the Christians severe opinions of secular movies, but have you ever wondered what would happen if we applied their own ideals to their own holy book? What would happen if we tried to put a rating on the bible? Well first of all, lets count up all the things that earn a movie this severe NC-17 rating. We have violence, sex, supernatural creatures, foul language, rape, prostitution, sex with a teenager, or young women. Now offhand, I can’t think of any movie that fits all of those criteria, but you may be surprised to find out that our good bible does in fact include all of these elements and more. The biggest crime of the bible of course is in dealing with adult themes, which if presented by the secular media would earn an immediate R or NC-17 rating. So let’s take a look at some examples of scenes from the bible that should be reviewed in our attempt to give it some sort of rating:
So let’s first look at that ever so vile act of violence:
Deuteronomy 7:2 And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:
So this verse states that God’s people are to hunt down these races, utterly destroy them and show no mercy to any of them. If this isn’t violence, I don’t know what is.
Numbers 24: 8: God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.
So he will break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows. Hmm sounds like violence to me.
Genesis 6:7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. Genesis
7:21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22: All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
Now we all know the story of the flood. But do you know that the in most polls people tend to agree that the worst way they could think of dying is to die from drowning? Have you ever thought about the fact that books are far more full of imagery than movies. Movies are limited by the budget of the movie in what they can show, whereas the human imagination is limitless, some would read this and even imagine it happening to themselves, what kind of imagery do you get when you think of a world full of people drowning? Is this not then violence or at least an adult theme?
Genesis 19:24 Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; 25: And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.
Have you ever wondered what goes through a child’s head when their parents teach them the story of Sodom and Gomorrah? If you tell kids a story, they will try to picture it, this is of no doubt. So what do you think they picture when they read this story? Everyone in these cities is killed in a rain of fire, do you think that this wasn’t done in a horrid and frightening manner? Could you imagine a little girl in the middle of the city trying to get out before it collapsed around her, crushing her to the ground as one more spark of life in the bible is utterly destroyed? Violence, violence, violence.
Genesis 40:19 Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thy head from off thee, and shall hang thee on a tree; and the birds shall eat thy flesh from off thee.
Doesn’t that bring to mind some lovely images? The image of someone having his head cut off and being hanged from a tree for the vultures to slowly eat. Is this not graphic violence? Does this seem to you more grotesque than the Evil Dead? It does to me. Well we don’t have the server space to write a complete list of tales of violence in the bible, but I think you get the point.
Exodus 15:3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.
The next issue is sex. Any sign of sex in movies instantly earns at least an R rating, excessive sex would earn it an NC-17. You tell me where you place the bible:
Genesis 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
So Onan went in to commit adultery with his brother’s wife and he had sex with her, he spilled the semen on the ground so as not to impregnate her. Now kids know how babies are made, and they learn what the “seed of” means from Sunday school, they will put two and two together and come up with sex. This is a particularly explicit scene as it even describes the fluids being spilled on the ground.
Leviticus 18:20 Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour’s wife, to defile thyself with her.
Kids also learn from Sunday school what it means to lie with someone, and for those a bit older they have free reign of the dictionary in which they can easily read what carnal means.
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Although forbidden and punishable by death, the bible still describes the act of homosexual sex.
Judges 16:1 Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her.
Good old Samson porking a whore in Gaza. This is just good old fashioned Christian sexual themes eh. Can you imagine the movie rating on this movie?
Ruth 3:9 And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman. Ruth 3:14 And she lay at his feet until the morning: and she rose up before one could know another. And he said, Let it not be known that a woman came into the floor.
Ruthy puts her head under his skirt, and lays at his feet until morning, hmm I wonder what she could be doing under there. Luckily she rose up before they actually had sex, but not before she spilled onto the floor. That’s right, God condones sucking dick, isn’t the bible grand. Just a note, the words come, came, etc. are all from Old English, and they are translated from the Hebrew words for orgasm, spilling of fluids, so our use of cum/come is the same as was used in the bible.
Song of Songs 1:13 A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
Hey now, I know a lot of guys that lie in between a girl’s breasts in a non-sexual manner. Right?
Song of Songs 8:10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.
Dude this shit is fucking rated X. This woman is describing her large breasts, and commenting in a cheesy porn dialect about how her breasts are so much better than her sister’s. This book of the bible is fucking hilarious, I always get flashback’s of cheesy porn music coming from the TV at our old party house.
Leviticus 15:16 And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. 17: And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. 18: The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.
Well this again is far from comprehensive, but we will leave on the note that if in the process of having sex based on the bible you happen to come all over yourself, your clothes, and your girlfriend, the bible gives instructions on cleaning it up.
Next we have foul language:
Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.
Don’t you think that describing sexual activities with an animal would be considered foul to most Christians?
Leviticus 20:5 Then I will set my face against that man, and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.
God said whore. Look look, God said whore.
2 Kings 18:27 But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
Describes the act of eating shit and drinking their piss.
Malachi 2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
Such crude talk of smearing shit on someone’s face, and from a man of God, tut tut.
Rape is one of the most common themes in the bible:
Deuteronomy 22:25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die:
So if a man rapes a married woman, then only he shall die, you’ll note that the crime in question here is adultery not rape.
Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29: Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
If the man rapes an unmarried woman and is caught, he has to pay the father fifty shekels and then marry her, because he properly humbled her.
2 Samuel 13:11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. 12: And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. 2 Samuel 13:14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
Ammon rapes his sister.
Sex with youth:
Numbers 31:17: Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. 18: But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
And what do Israeli men do when they get a hold of women in the bible?
Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Exodus 32:25 And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies:)
1 Samuel 19:24 And he stripped off his clothes also, and prophesied before Samuel in like manner, and lay down naked all that day and all that night. Wherefore they say, Is Saul also among the prophets?
Isaiah 58:7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
This gives a conflicting concept of what the bible thinks about nudity, in some parts it’s a sin to clothe oneself and then in another it’s a sin to be naked, but God’s schizophrenic I guess, so who really knows what he wants, but the nudity is there for all kids to enjoy.
Genesis 9:20: And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: 21: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
So Noah celebrates the flood by getting drunk and once again naked.
Genesis 19:32: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
This is a funny story altogether as there is no way Lot’s daughters could have forced him to drink wine, so in actuality he just got drunk and fucked his daughters, and he of course is blessed of God.
Psalms 104:14: He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth; 15: And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man’s heart.
God tells little children that drinking alcohol will make you happy, and God obviously condones this action.
Proverbs 31:6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
That’s right, let’s teach kids that alcohol is a cure for their problems. Aren’t biblical morals grand?
The point has been made, I could go on this line forever. Every single criteria that the MPAA sets forth in rating a movie, would put their own holy book in the NC-17 genre. The most explicit label a movie can bear. So what does this speak of their morals? This to me shows that the bible isn’t as kind as they pretend it is and also brings us the idea of hypocrisy spewing from their mouths. They can prevent secular kids from going to a movie they are fully well equipped to handle, but then they turn around and hand this shit out to those same kids at school, or expose them to it by putting it in the drawers of hotel rooms, or by teaching it in some schools. This bullshit is absurd, now I personally think that kids are fully capable of handling the contents of the bible, my intent is not to censor, my point is what makes them think that they have a right to label everything secular that is guilty of the same things as their holy manuscript as evil and obscene but they fail to look under their own noses at that which they pretend to interpret to come to these absurd conclusions.
The same is true of parents in the music industry, with their bullshit warning labels, explicit material, what the fuck is that? They need to look at themselves, they claim their morals come from this piece of shit book, but then why the hell is it wrong for us to distribute our own ideas in the form of free speech. They can hand this shit out to kindergarteners and we can’t even put it on the fucking radio? Why is this double standard existent in our society? Why is it that if I have children, they can’t go to the store and pick up music they like, but the little Christian kids can go and pick up music with sick little bible stories? Where is their fucking label? To make things worse, some Christians actually get the bright idea of boycotting or publicly protesting record stores selling these materials. They actually have blockaded record stores for such events as the new release of a Manson CD, to protest the sale of NWA music, forcing a store to either stop selling 2 Live Crew and Judas Priest or be removed from the neighborhood. Shit like that has been common for years. But they can package this bible and give, sell, or slam it down on little kids like it’s candy. Well I say we tell the Christians to either shove their censorship up their ass or accept a warning label on the bible that prohibits anyone under the age of 17 from reading it. This should include the banning of giving out the bible, the banning of bibles in hotel rooms, and most certainly the sale of bibles to anyone under the age of 17. Well I wonder what congress would say about that proposal.